My Part of the Conversation

As the year comes to a close, I often find myself looking back over the past 12 months and taking stock of all that happened.  This was a big year for us, having our second child, Hudson starting preschool, taking the youth on their first international mission trip, and right now trying to buy our first house.  I also think through tough times and fun times, and note the ways I’ve grown or what I’ve learned.

Something I’ve thought about a lot this past year revolves around a series of conflicts I’ve had with different people.  Some were a big deal, some weren’t.   In some of the cases, I was wrong, and someone had to call me on it.  In other cases, I had to go to someone else.  We do an injustice when we fail to talk to people when they have hurt or wronged us, or just have lives heading in the wrong direction.  We can’t truly love our neighbors and duck out of any kind of conflict.  It’s just part of relationships.  However, there are right ways and wrong ways to deal with people.

In the times I was wrong, I was either able to agree I had messed up or could see how a misunderstanding brought about the situation.  In some cases, people were firm, yet compassionate.  Other times, they were harsh and hurtful.

When we go to someone with the intent of encouraging them to change their behavior or be aware of it’s negative effect on others, they rarely accept it well.  I know I hate it.  We hate it especially when someone is right, and find ourselves at their mercy.  Will they show us compassion, understanding, help, or rejection and self-righteousness?  Will they use it as a chance to impose their superiority, or reach out to us as brothers?

On the other side, will we be tempted to lecture and not listen?  Will we be looking to offer redemption and forgiveness?  Are we trying to save someone, or make a name for ourselves?

Next time, whether you go to someone out of anger, hurt, concern, or a mixture of all three, take note of what it will show about who you are.  Your true character and what you believe in your heart is about to be revealed.

Is our loving (yet firm!) Jesus going to show through?  Or will it be someone (or something) else?

[This post was sponsored in part by the question mark?]

This time of year, many of you will find yourself bouncing from one holiday party to another. I love Christmas, and I love Christmas parties, and I love giving presents, and I love getting presents . Last year, I went to four parties that all had white elephant gift exchanges.

For those of you who are clueless to what I’m talking about, a white elephant exchange involves bringing a wrapped present (usually of a pre-stated value maximum) to be included in a “random” exchange. Each person draws a number. When a person’s turn comes, they have the option of opening a new gift or taking someone else’s gift. There are varying rules that limit the “stealing”, but you get the general idea. Anyway, I have a few thoughts on making your next gift exchange more fun.

1. Dig something fun out of the attic or something weird from a garage sale. Off the wall items are great, especially when they were originally intended to be serious.

2. You’re sure to have rules on a maximum value, but find some way to set a minimum value, as well. Each year, I find out that some mother had to persuade her teenage son from pooping in a box (not exaggerating), and come up with some “compromise” that is on the fringe of socially acceptable.

3. It’s more fun to bring gag gifts. But, the game is only fun if there are some good items out there. Be the guy that brings something cool and goes home with junk. It’s more fun that way.

4. Don’t just put gift cards or money in there. Boooooorinnnnng.

5. If you do it annually, try having a theme every now and then. You can do ornaments, music, tv-related, hats, costumes, or toys, snow-globes, or even random gift cards. Be creative. It’ll give the party a new flair.

6. Recycled gifts are fun when they become a tradition, but not if everyone does it. I’ve gotten a Penguin Pooper two years in a row. Someone else took it home this year. I advised her not to eat the candy.

7. If you see someone get something they really wanted, take it. It’s funny. Don’t be a noob and just get a new present so you don’t “hurt anyone’s feelings”. They probably brought the box with the funny smell that you’ll take home, anyway. The more stealing, the more fun the game.

8. Make sure there’s room for everyone to show their gifts. Sneaky people hide good stuff. Take that option away, if at all possible. Also, if food or candy is involved, don’t let people eat or lick any of it till the game is over.

9. Make sure everyone wraps the present they brought. Unwrapped gifts kindof make this game pointless.

10. (What should I add? You need to have 10!)

This year, I shied away from this game, mainly because several of these rules were broken all at once, but hopefully with these few thoughts, I’ll be able to be involved in more fun and exciting games next year.

I know I’m overloading you today, but I’m getting to a few things I’ve been wanting to get to for quite some time.

 Below is an article I’m tweaking for a parent newsletter.  What do you think?  I’m also planning preaching a sermon on the 30th that deals with some of the same issues.

What’s shaping them?

For years, churches have been targeting the influences of our culture on our young people.  I’m not sure how many lessons I heard as a teenager on not listening to “bad” music or watching “bad” movies.  I think the bottom line of those lessons still holds true today, that we are influenced by what messages we allow to enter our minds.  However, I think we have been slow to acknowledge where all those messages are coming from- and the rate at which they are coming in.

In the early 90’s there was a lot of discussion about obscenity in music.  Senate hearings and court cases made national news as some albums were banned from distribution.   If you wanted to hear one of these albums, you had to find a friend who had it, or get a copy off the black market.  Nearly twenty years later, that whole concept of banning some type of transferable media seems silly.  With the internet and file sharing services, it’s next to impossible to control the flow media.  Today, almost any type of information, song, or video clip is just a mouse click away.  They can be exposed to anything and everything all at once, if they so choose.  It is no longer easy to regulate what messages teens are getting.  The internet brings all forms of information together, influencing the thoughts and minds of our young people.

Beyond all that, there is even a more pervasive- yet ignored- threat to the minds of our young people: advertising.   According to recent statistics the average American is exposed at least 3500 advertising messages per day!  Actually, for most Americans who spend time on the internet, it is closer to 5000 messages or even higher!

We’ve been sure to talk about the messages in TV shows, but now we’re concerned about the commercials?  Aren’t they just trying to get you to buy a product?  It’s true, many advertisements simply want you to realize when you are out to buy something made by them, that they have the best.  Yet, most advertisements out there are for things we don’t need.  The advertisers then have the challenge of convincing you need something that truthfully, you do not.  To do that, they need to reshape how you see the world.

I hope you catch the significance of that: marketers are purposefully trying to manipulate you and the way you see the world.  At least 3500 times a day, we’re fighting off brainwashers and we don’t even realize it!  Those messages they send are clear: you are only as valuable as what you own, look like, or can do.  God’s Word teaches us our value is simply in being the people God made us to be, and His love comes without condition.  I know many of us adults have trouble sifting through those messages that we should be something else.   How much more difficult is it for teenagers who are developmentally still trying to discover who they are now?

How should you confront this? Awareness is the key.  Evaluate advertisements when you see them, trying to determine what they are trying to tell you about the world.  Sometimes, the messages are harmless.  Other times, they could completely destroy your relationship with God.  Be sure to talk with your teenager about the messages in advertisements and media around them.   Help them develop tools to think through how someone is trying to manipulate them.

And above everything else, counter those false messages with truth.   Spend time with them in prayer and studying God’s Word, and talking about the plans HE has for their lives.  Each message from you carries far more weight than those 1000’s of messages they receive from invisible strangers.

Some food for thought… I really like this response by Mike Huckabee. He’s quickly becoming a guy I want to know more about as we near elections for our next president. And anyone who has Chuck Norris on his side is a force to be reckoned with.

h/t Dave on this one

Not in my virtual world, but in the physical world.  Kate and I signed a purchase agreement on a new house and we’ve been busy working on all that.  I’ll try to post some pics soon.  It’s been stealing a lot of my brainpower lately!