My Part of the Conversation

One of the biggest challenges I’ve found to being in full time ministry is the fact that ministry is now a “profession” for me.  When I received what I believed to be a calling into ministry, it has always been something I saw as a heavy and burdensome challenge, never as a chance to “get paid for being a Christian”.  I never saw it as an economic or “professional” choice, even though I’ve always been well compensated and cared for.  In fact, I have never believed myself to be an employee of any individual church, but a servant of God in His kingdom.  He sends me to specific places for service and situations in which I am to submit to the local church servant leadership He has set in place.  Yet, I often feel like people are distrusting of me because I am a full time minister, that somehow the message is corrupted because I get paid to tell it.

I can’t blame people for that.  It doesn’t take long to think of situations in which people abused the gospel for their own personal gain.  I even find myself jealous at times of people who volunteer at church part-time and their teaching is quicker to be received and somehow perceived to be more reliable.

But, I know how much work there is to do and how important it is.  I also know that ministries (such as to youth) require constant training and study, as it is cross-cultural communication.  There is also a huge need for someone who organizes and equips the volunteer forces to minister to others.

That all being said, when I find myself doubting my calling or doubting my place in youth ministry or doubting I should be working for the church, I ask myself one question: “Would I do this if I didn’t get paid?”

Even in dark, depressing, frustrating, and lonely times, the answer has always been “Yes”.  I’d teach classes and help with retreats and befriend teenagers and organize events.  When I reconcile that with myself, I find that I can get over the self-consciousness or perception that someone doesn’t trust me.

If the answer to that personal evaluation ever becomes a definitive “no”, it’s time to move on to something else.

But right now, I think it’s pretty cool to be where I’m at, doing what I’m doing.